my story

Hi, I'm Maddie! I struggled with depression, anxiety, and negative self talk for most of my life. There were so many times I silently suffered through feeling lost, hopeless, and not being able love myself or my body. It felt like I was tuned into shame, guilt, fear and my mind was on overdrive constantly criticizing and overanalyzing everything I did and didn’t do. I was just going through the motions and doing my best to stay afloat from everything life was throwing at me, but it felt so hard. My heart yearned for a better life and I kept telling myself it has to be possible to be genuinely happy and to love the life you are living. 

In 2019 I finally hit my breaking point- I was struggling to get over heart break, burnt out from working long hours in a highly demanding job and using alcohol and drugs to hide from the painful truth that I was so unhappy with my life. Due to chronic stress, I had a series of health issues arise that made me realize I can’t keep living this way. I was desperate to find healing and live a more fulfilling life. A small voice inside me kept telling me it was possible so I quit my job in search of something and began a journey that would end up transforming my life in ways I never imagined were possible. 

At the beginning of 2020 I began making small changes and by the end of the year was working with a spiritual mentor to help me reconnect with my true self and build a deeper connection to nature. I went through deep transformative inner work and began to turn to nature for healing and guidance. My mental health and state of mind did not change over night; even though I was consistently working at it, it took almost two years until I finally noticed big shifts. It was hard not seeing and feeling fast results, but I was persistent and kept coming back to practices that empowered me and nourished my body, mind and soul. 

Everything began to change when I started to slow down and connect with nature. I learned to listen to my inner guidance and trust the wisdom I was receiving. I became more mindful of the flow of nature and felt connected to something greater than myself. In doing this, I felt more supported in my daily life and was able to navigate challenges with more ease and trust in myself. My thoughts and perceptions began to change and I started to see the beauty in the world again. Over time, I began to feel a growing desire within me to help others that were in similar situations but I didn’t know how. 

In July of 2021, Mother Nature sent me a wakeup call by having a tree almost fall on me during a hike and it gave me the courage to follow my heart. I committed to walking the path of my heart, not knowing where it would take me, but I knew it would lead me to living the most beautiful, fulfilling life and help me be in service to others. 

The path was full of twists and turns and I didn’t know for certain if it would lead me to living the life of my dreams, but I kept believing, and kept showing up for myself and believing in my dreams. As I would walk this path I would find endless support to continue and anytime I would take a wrong turn, something would always happen to bring me back on the path. Life became this beautiful flow and I began to experience more love, joy, and magic than I ever thought was possible. By 2024 I began living a life that was far greater than anything I could have ever imagined for myself and felt truly happy and in love with the life I was getting to live. 

Finding true happiness in life for me didn’t mean that my life became so perfect that I was happy and joyful everyday. What it did mean for me is that the scales tipped, and my normal, my baseline became happy. It meant all the negative self talk was replaced with loving, empowering self talk. It meant I was finally confident in my abilities to move through life with more ease – I had the skills and tools I needed to navigate challenges and get through difficult times. It meant I was finally supported in life and no longer had to stress and worry about if everything would work out. 

I wrote in journals my entire journey to reflect, make sense of it all and document the magical moments. For years I dreamed of sharing my story but was always met with fear when I heard that voice and would find an excuse not to; but eventually the passion to write would begin to grow inside of me and life would begin to prepare me for the next phase of my journey – sharing my story. 

In July of 2024, miracles would end up bringing me back to Maui and magically everything would begin to align to bring my dreams of sharing my story to life. Doors would close and new ones would open and I would find my passion to write grow stronger and stronger until it was all I wanted to do. Eventually I found the passion burning so brightly inside of me I found myself willing to risk it all to chase my dreams of sharing my story because I knew if I were to die tomorrow and I never shared my story, that would be be my biggest regret.